I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
