remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My Sexting was not on an AP level
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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