i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
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I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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