...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
