it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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