u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
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We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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