out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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