I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
