i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
