there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
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