New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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