Pregnant stripper...not hot.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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