why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
