dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
