I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
