he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
