theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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