i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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