I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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