I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
