i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize