I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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