I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize