I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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