You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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