Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
