Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
