is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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