after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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