p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize