Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
