Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
