Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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