Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
