physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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