the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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