He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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