Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird