I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps