trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
my poor anus
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked