i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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