it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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