Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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