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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I died a long time ago.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i cant lie to you.

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• (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed

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• (646): View more from New York

  Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.

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