Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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