the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
