Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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