"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize