Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
