TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
