break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We need a shit load of segways right now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
