so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
