do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
