So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
