cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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