I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
