You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
