she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize