Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
