i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
