The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
