Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
