she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
