Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
