You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
