if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
