Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
