She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
