I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
