so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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