My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
