At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
